And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
