Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So many bounce houses so little time
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
