you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
