It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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