ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Me too!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
