I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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