I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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