you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
