you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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