My brain says no but my pants say off.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize