She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
