In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
