You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
