it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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