Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
