I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize