does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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