the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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