oh god the rape fog is back!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
