I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
