yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
