While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
