Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
