I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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