quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
