We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
