Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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