if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
