there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was not drunk enough for that final.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
