so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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