Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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