no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
