My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize