i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize