NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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