I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
