he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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