So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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