It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
