Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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