every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
