i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
