I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
