What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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