I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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