the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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