with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
