i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
