So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Text me some of your sweat
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
