My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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