But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
