Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
