Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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