is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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