Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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