So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
