I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
