I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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