Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
