Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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