I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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