I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
