fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My dick has a subreddit
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
