I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize