GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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