Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
