sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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