I smell stomach acid.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
