My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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