He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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