how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
