I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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