names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
