You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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