I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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