Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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